Soccer Field Saga
It was especially windy that day. I remember because the air made it hard to breathe as I raced up and down the soccer field. I was a fourth grader in elementary school and as a reward for our exceptional behavior in class that day, our teacher had gifted us extra recess. Now, let me tell you something about extra recess - it was not a time to joke around. It was a chance to show off your recess skills with just your class. We quickly started a game of soccer, boys vs. girls. I usually lived for this type of stuff, any chance to show off my soccer skills to unassuming boys was something I would dive headfirst into. In this particular game, though, I was distracted. There was this one girl on my team who was totally stealing the show, zigzagging wildly across the field and ramming into people who didn’t even have the ball. She giggled and laughed the entire time, jumping up and down in her matching Nike activewear set, her brown hair flowing out behind her in the wind. Although I would argue her efforts were no better than mine, all the other girls were cheering her on, yelling, “You go, girl!” and “Girl Power!!” I was thoroughly frustrated. I was working just as hard as her, and yet no one was telling me to “go girl!” I watched her out of the corner of my eye until an idea struck me. I ran to the side of the field, yanked out the rubber band at the bottom of my braid and slowly unwound the tight guth [braid] my mom had spent at least 20 minutes doing that morning. I smiled giddily as I shook my hair out and ran back onto the field, laughing at the heads that turned when they realized how long my hair was. A new wave of fierceness ran through me and I turned up the intensity, pinballing, yelling, and sliding across the field until the other girls included my name in their chants too. It was only until I got back to the classroom that I realized I didn't know how to braid my hair and was going to have a lot of explaining to do when I got home.
From a young age, I always felt the importance of incorporating Sikh values such as Seva and Simran into my so-called western lifestyle and truly tried to do so in every aspect that I could. I never shied away from discussing religion and educating others because I enjoyed it and felt it was necessary. One of these concepts that I discussed with my peers was about being a feminist, and how I express my feminism as a Sikh. While I was confident in who I was and knew where I came from, I had a hard time justifying my approach to feminism in front of my peers at school, who largely participated in the popularized concept of “Western feminism”.
There was always a trend, always an outfit, always a haircut that my friends claimed was their feminism but just…didn’t seem right for me. I tried my best to relate to their feminism and was sometimes forced to in certain environments, but as I grew older, I became more curious as to what ideologies of Western and Sikh cultures cause these collisions between feminist ideals that so many Kaurs have to straddle on a day to day basis.
As I was exposed to more people and different opinions, I came to the conclusion that most feminists have the same goal, and that is to promote equal opportunity and rights for all genders. However, the way in which groups express their agreement for that statement can differ. Being a student in the American public school system puts me in a place to absorb Western feminism constantly. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it often leads to actions like my little soccer field stunt. I knew something didn’t feel right when I took out my hair that day, but I just didn’t look or feel as fierce or confident as that other girl did. Not knowing how to express my feelings through my own means, I tried to become like every other girl. After my conversations with other Kaurs, I’ve realized I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Social media and lots of different nonprofits, act as resources to educate girls about Western feminism, but through my experiences, there are not enough resources to educate girls on the true morals of Sikh feminism and why they contradict Western ideals. With the constant onslaught of Western feminism around us, I think it’s important for both Kaurs and Singhs to have a resource in which Sikh feminism is defined on the basis of Rehat, History, and Baani. I think it is imporatant to address the different ideologies present among Western and Sikh feminism and learn how to move foward when there is a collision of ideals. With this information, hopefully both Kaurs and Singhs will gain a better understanding of the values of Sikh feminism and how it should be pratciced.
What is Western Feminism?
For fifteen years I’ve been lucky enough to have been surrounded by a community of strong Sikh and non-Sikh women with bold thoughts. While having this community has diversified who I am as a feminist and my outlook on femininity, it has also introduced situations where thoughts and ideas conflict, leaving me to choose what aligns best with my morals and values.Throughout my research and personal experiences, I have gathered that these inconsistencies between Western and Sikh feminism often stem from the concept of individuality.
Individuality, in general, has a very strong and reputable history in Western countries, the United States especially. Documents such as The Bill of Rights, and the Declaration of Independence were all written originally to secure and assure the rights of the individual; not exactly a popular concept in Eastern countries where the government is more focused on the collective. The concept of a lifestyle catered by the individual to benefit the individual has been copied and pasted into many social media platforms, career paths, and school curriculums. Feminism is no exception.
Looking at this concept of feminine individuality from a historical vantage point, it emerged around the mid to late 90’s when a “post-feminist” environment and “Girlie” or “Lipstick” feminism was popularized. Lipstick feminism is a type of movement in which activities that were previously considered part of the patriarchy are now used to subvert it. Professor Martha Rampton expounds upon this idea in her article assessing feminism’s evolution; “An aspect of third-wave feminism that mystified the mothers of the earlier feminist movement was the readoption by young feminists of the very lip-stick, high-heels, and cleavage proudly exposed by low cut necklines that the first two phases of the movement identified with male oppression.” While there isn’t anything necessarily wrong with Lipstick feminism, I think it is a prime example of how individuality is central to Western feminist movements.
Throughout both middle school and high school, most of the encounters that I have had with Lipstick feminism have been where those discrepancies between Sikh and Western ideologies arise. Lipstick feminism embraces individuality so much, that their feminism becomes entirely about the drastic differences between men and women. It becomes less about the movement and more about asserting themselves, letting everyone know that they can be aggressive and pretty at the same time. This type of feminism easily morphs into comments telling me that I would look much better with my hair out. Or after I started covering my hair, telling me that I looked better without my rumaal. In the Western feminists’ eyes, they were pained to see that my individuality had been restricted by a scarf or braids. They didn’t see my long hair as a practice of respect and love but rather a limitation on my full feminine potential, very similar to the cries of oppression that women with hijab receive.
So if Western feminism is centered around the self, what is Sikh feminism’s center?
What is Sikh Feminism?
So far we’ve assessed one of the major ideologies of Western feminism; individuality, where it stemmed from, and real-life examples of individualistic feminism and feminists. I’ve stated before that the discrepancies between Western and Sikh feminism often lie along this ideology of individuality but what exactly does that mean from the Sikh perspective?
The Gursikh lifestyle as a whole, denounces the relevance of the individual. Everything the individual possesses and everything the individual is granted is a product of the blessings that Akal Purakh has bestowed upon us. This shabad revealed to our 5th Guru, Guru Arjan Sahib Ji stresses the importance of this message.
ਤੂੰ ਮੇਰੀ ਓਟ ਤੂੰਹੈ ਮੇਰਾ ਮਾਣਾ ॥ tūn mērī ōt tūnhai mērā mānā
You are my support and my pride
ਤੁਦ ਬਿਨ ਦੂਜਾ ਅਵਰ ਨ ਕੋਈ ਸਬ ਖੇਲ ਅਘਾਰਾ ਜੀਉ ॥੨॥ tujh bin dūjā avar n kōī sabh tērā khēl akhārā jīu
The world is an arena for Your play. Except You, there is no other
Raag Majh, Guru Arjan Sahib Ji, Ank 103
In this shabad Guru Arjan Sahib Ji discusses the concepts of ਓਟ [ott], protection and ਮਾਣਾ [maana], confidence or pride. In the first line, Guru Arjan Sahib Ji clearly writes that Waheguru is the sole source of protection and Waheguru is the sole source of pride. In the next line Guruji goes on to declare that the world is Waheguru’s and there is no other like Waheguru. While this message may seem simple, when comparing this idea to the ideologies of Western feminism, it’s really quite opposite.
Pride, confidence, and support are all concepts that the western world deems as very unique to the individual. Pride would typically come from one’s own achievements and accolades, and support is often felt through material wealth. I witness this firsthand at school where some girls rely on objects like makeup for protection and take pride in things like sexual promiscuity. In this shabad Guru Sahib is denouncing all of that, declaring that true pride comes from being a disciple and true protection is the Hukam Akal Purakh has gifted us.
This message is what separates the Sikh feminist movement from the masses of the Western feminsist movement. It is a recognition that our fight for equal opportunity and rights between genders is being fought out of love for Akal Purakh as is everything we do. Covering our heads, keeping our kes, and wearing kakaars is the way we embrace our feminism and femininity externally because these articles in themselves are an expression of love for Waheguru. Even the name Sikh women have been given, “Kaur '' is a tribute to Guru. Any time we write our name, introduce ourselves or receive an award, the name of warrior or lioness is a unifying factor amongst all Sikh women and a constant reminder that we are the daughters of Guru Gobind Singh Ji.
This concept of feminism through devotion to Guru is illustrated within the stories of the original Sikh feminists we revere. Mata Bagh Kaur ji is considered a feminist today because of the pure love and dedication she had for Guruji. She was so distraught to see her brother's desert Guru Gobind Singh Ji and her love is what sent them back to the battlefield. Her devotion is what pushed them to fight until their death. The same with Bebe Nanki ji who is remembered as one of the first Sikhs based on the faith and love she had for her brother, Guru Nanak Sahib Ji, when nobody else did.
Feminists in Sikh history are revered for their love. Yes, for their fierceness and their bravery, and their courage, but mostly how all those actions were in the name of love for Guru and that is the real essence of Sikh feminism. These women were aware that Waheguru is all-pervading and that is what Sikh feminists convey when we protest, and when we speak and we defend. The causes we protest and fight for should always be reciprocating the lessons of Miri and Piri conveyed to Sikhs in Guru Granth Sahib Ji.
I also think it’s important to realize, that Sikh feminism is not a softer version of Western feminism just because it’s core is love for Waheguru. When I do try to explain this outlook on feminism to my non-Sikh friends they often look at me funny because feminism to them is not a very pious thing, the two are completely unrelated. However to me, therein lies the beauty of Sikh feminism. Putting individuality aside allows feminists to connect more as a movement. The beauty of Sikh feminism is that our protest, our speech, our writing, our arguments, our fight, are all fueled by love. It doesn’t make us any less strong or fierce. The Sikh feminist fight is about granting equal opportunity for all genders to walk this path of faith and love, but the only way we can do that is to recognize that Waheguru’s Hukam is at the pinnacle of our movement.
What's Right For Me?
This collision of ideologies is not a new concept to me. There are times when I feel confident in how I express my feminism and actively portray that through the movement. Just as many times, doubts creep in and I feel that I am not enough or doing enough of the right things. Every day I am still learning how to deal with these situations and be confident in my morals while being able to communicate them when questions and debate arise. While I don’t have a clear-cut answer on how to expertly maneuver through these collisions, I do have a couple of tips that I have learned through my conversations with other Kaurs and my own experiences. Keep in mind that these strategies are not just for Kaurs but for all supporters of the Sikh feminist movement.
1. Educate Yourself
I think a major reason why I didn’t know how to express my feminism when I was younger, was because I wasn’t really educated enough on what Sikh feminism was. Looking at the messages Baani preaches about equality, practicing the living the of Gursikh that Rehat dictates, and learning about the stories of courageous women in Sikh history are all ways of educating yourself about Sikh feminism. Acquiring this knowledge gives you a better perspective on how to practice it yourself and teach it to others.
2. Educate Others
A lot of times when Kaurs, or just Sikhs in general, receive questions regarding their feminism or feminity, it’s not meant to be an insult or to stir doubt but simply a well-intentioned question. I think that because we are such a small minority it’s important to be able to answer these questions correctly and accurately. I’ve always felt that telling people about Sikhi and Sikh values helps reinforce my devotion to my faith. By putting it in simple terms that others can understand you’re reminding yourself of what it’s all about.
3. Discussion = Direction
Gurbani talks about the concept of “Saadh Sangat” [true/enlightened community] and the importance of it in the Sikh journey. In the writing of this article, I made sure to listen to different points of view from both Kaurs and Singhs and thought about them before I wrote. Healthy, controlled discussion can work wonders when you’re having trouble with your own morals and values. It’s just important to keep in mind where you’re coming from, what your goal is, and what you want to know. You don’t have to take every single piece of advice that you receive but just listening to different people’s perspectives and outlooks can give you direction into your own perspectives and outlooks. Saadh Sangat is there for exactly that, to give direction as we travel this path. Never be shy to discuss and ask questions because someone out there may have the same exact question as you.
All of my arguments stated are based on my research, interpretation of Baani, and my personal experiences. In no way am I trying to tell you which method of feminism you should practice or which principles are morally better, I just hope to offer a little more insight into why the ideologies of Sikh feminism and Western feminism clash and how to deal with those situations. Despite our difference in methods I truly believe that western feminism is powerful and works in its own way. However, when these ideologies collide it leaves me to make a conscious choice.
I believe that if I was to base my feminism solely on my individual wants and needs, I would easily be swayed by my environment and circumstances. Looking at Sikh feminism, it offers something that is steadfast and encourages me to look at the collective’s wants and needs. I want the feminism that I practice every day to be the same feminism that Mai Bhago spoke to the Chaale Mukte with and the same feminism Mata Gujri Ji taught her grandsons with. I want the feminism I practice to be about something other than me. I want my feminism to allow Sikhs as a panth to pray and sing and fight together while feeling safe and loved. But I'm still figuring it out along the way. With Waheguru’s kirpa I readily tread the path laid out before me and that path is out there for you too if you choose to follow it. For anyone who would like to join me I welcome you with open arms.
About the Author
Tavroop Kaur
Tavroop Kaur is a high school student from Ellicott City, Maryland. She loves writing poetry, reading and playing soccer. Tavroop is passionate about how social justice and gurmat intertwine and enjoys doing kirtan and discussing baani with her sangat.