All my life, from middle school to high school, I have received scrutinizing looks from my peers, not only for my kes, but also for my name, religion, and just for who I am. In middle school, everyone’s eyes were latched onto my uncut kes, at camps and gurudwaras their eyes were latched onto my keski (dastaar). Each time I stepped out of the house these eyes and faces of disgust followed me wherever I went, which soon became words and actions. Classmates used to come up to me on a daily basis and exclaim, “You’re a girl, Girls are supposed to look good and to do that you can’t have so much hair.” One day, a young girl approached me and threatened to cut my hair while we were sitting near the bus stop. I could feel fear rise at the back of my throat; I quietly grasped my backpack and tried to come up with a powerful response back. Not wanting any trouble, I gave a simple response: “I am a Sikh; This is my religion” and I walked onto the school bus silently. I was astonished at the weak response I gave and confused about how my religion became an issue for my peers. The next day I walked into school avoiding each person I saw walking down the hall, trying to shy away from any conservation. All I wanted to do was take my final exams and go back home not wanting any trouble. I wasn’t the type of person to take a stand for myself, I avoided situations to the point where they became obsolete. It was near the end of the day and the only thing I was looking forward to was going home, but then at the corner of my eye I saw that same girl sitting a couple of feet away from me. I sat there anxiously hoping that I wouldn’t fall victim to ridicule, but this time it was bigger than that. She came up behind, with a pair of scissors in her hand, grabbed my long braid, and at the corner of my eye I saw those scissors approaching my hair. I immediately got up, filled with rage in my body. I just wanted to scream and bully her back, but I knew that would put me at the same level as her. I didn't know what to do, I was just 13 years old. I went to a teacher, thinking that going to an adult about this situation would be best, but she said the same thing everyone else told me growing up - that to be “normal”, I must lose my kes. I was in complete shock. I was scared to be who I am; I was done living in this bubble of fear all my life. This was my battle to fight and win, no one else’s. Not knowing the full scope of my faith I was inspired to learn more Sikhi in order to educate people on why I am who I am.
I went to my local gurudwara and day by day began to learn the importance of my unshorn hair. Sikhs have an intrinsic responsibility to protect themselves and others from any types of bigotry. I now knew what it meant to be a Sikh and the duties which come with this as well. Never having taken a stand for myself, I now knew the true way to get through to people regarding my identity: educating them. Sikhi teaches us how to be loving, compassionate, and forgiving to people who tend to treat us like inferiors. By learning more about my religion through organizations, trusted elders, events, and camps, I was able to explain to this young girl what Sikhi stood for, who we were, and what my religion truly represented. She walked away knowing that Sikhs aren't the enemy, we are the helpers, Sikhs aren't bad people, we are the givers. The more educated people are about your values and religion, the more they can begin to accept you for who you are. At the end of the year, I was also given the opportunity to give a presentation regarding Sikhi to my entire school. Although, standing up there was nerve-racking, I knew that I would be spreading knowledge about my faith. The next person from my school to approach a Sikh whether it be at the mall, restaurant, or anyone else would have more knowledge and awareness than they had before.
From these experiences, I learned it’s best to always keep your head up in times of trouble. Problems come and go- it is the way one copes with these issues that counts. Keeping a positive attitude during difficult situations allows people to approach the issue in a better aspect and make a valuable change. Going back, if I had approached this girl at my school in a violent manner, her interpretation of who I am ( a Sikh ), would be frightful. The fact is that one can only stand up for themselves and their faith, if they truly know what it represents. There will always be people who discriminate upon you wherever you go, whether it be school or the white house. But knowing that we, as Sikhs, are meant to look different than those surrounding us lets us make our own opportunities to stand up for ourselves and others. Those scrutinizing looks will always follow each young Sikh man and Sikh women on the street, but one thing to keep in mind is our guru sahib made us the way we are and if there are people out there who think Sikhs are the enemy, this only makes us stronger by standing up for ourselves and educating them about the beauty of Sikhi.
Gurmehar Kaur, 17, NJ