Waheguru Jee Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Jee Ki Fateh!
My name Jasleen Kaur and I am a 15-year-old Sikh girl who has faced judgments based upon my appearance, which led me to feel self-conscious all the time. People would always look at me because I decided to keep my kesh (body hair). In lower and middle school, I would be inhibited of what others thought of me and what I needed to change to fit in with others, not realizing that it didn’t matter what other people thought of me, as long as I am comfortable with the way I look. I am so grateful that this year, I started to realize that I am who I am, and no one’s opinion should change the way I perceive myself.
I know the “Punjabi” society tends to ignore the struggles that girls go through daily, which is why I felt that writing this article would be a sikhnificant (aha!) step in a positive direction. The main objective of this article is to reach out to you guys and help you understand it is OK not to “fit in” to this mold that our society has made for us but instead learn to be content with yourself.
To breakdown the two leading issues that Sikh girls face, I would like to section them out one by one. The first is fitting into the societal mold, and the second is bullying. I’m going to try my best and give you my insight on these issues.
To start, Society/Social media has created these expectations that force us to contemplate our Sikh morals. It is crucial for us to understand that it is OK if we do not fit in. Punjabi culture contradicts the Sikh teaching in many aspects, such as the consumption of intoxicants and relating to our topic; gender equality. Us girls are always supposed to look “pretty,” “fair,” and we are looked at differently if we do something out of the “norm.” We are always going to have those bibiya and auntiya who have something to say. People will always have something to say, but it is our choice if we listen to it.
Social media puts high standards out there, having a “perfect body.” There is nothing wrong with that, but we also feel like that is an expectation. If you want to look good for yourself, go you! But don’t, if you feel like it is an expectation, ignore it. "Ask yourself why you consider working to achieve a "perfect body". Is it because you want to satisfy your ego? Show that you're better than everyone else? Do you want to impress people? If any of the answers to these questions are yes, then that is not the right way of looking at it. It actually goes against the basic tenants of Sikhi and we are unconsciously submitting to vices, in this case, Hankaar." Waheguru made us this way for a reason. Gaining self-confidence is hard. Personally speaking, I don’t have full confidence, and that is OK. But it is a process. I would like all of you to listen to my podcast called “The Beauty in Me.” I don’t focus on just the Sikh background but all backgrounds! I go in-depth on how to start your journey. The guest speaker is Onkar Kaur Dhillon; she is on the social media platform and shared her pro tips and personal experiences in the podcast. I want this podcast to impact your journey in a positive way.
Bullying. Many do not understand that Sikh boys are not the only ones who get bullied, Sikh girls get bullied too. In our Punjabi society, our men are looked up to a higher platform, because they “go through more,” such as daastar/patka issues, facial hair, mistaken identity, etc. I disagree with the idea that only Sikh men are bullied; many girls are being bullied. Either for their appearance, hair, or beliefs. Society must recognize that girls out there are also getting bullied, and we need to reform that. I want to make this into a discussion in the comments below to hear your experiences and thoughts. We are all brothers and sisters, and we are here to support each other.
Waheguru Jee Ka Khalsa , Waheguru Jee Ki Fateh!
Gaining Self Confidence ~ The Beauty in Me
Anchor (Direct Links to Breaker, Radiopublic, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast): https://anchor.fm/jasleen-kaur25
- Jasleen Kaur, 15, FL