I was 14 years old when I began meeting with a counselor to discuss my mental health problems. After spending three years in a severe state of depression, I finally decided to work towards a better mental state. I tried to find help from my parents and my community at the local Gurudwara, but I was unable to find anyone who would take my problems seriously as the health issue they were.
One of the most rarely discussed topics in the Sikh community is mental health, especially when it comes to addressing teens with mental illnesses. This is especially concerning because mental illnesses have been rising nationwide. According to the CDC, around 2 million children in the US have been diagnosed with depression.
I am one of these children.
Having depression has affected my life in many ways. When I had episodes, I suffered from constant headaches and a lack of motivation. I struggled deeply with low self-esteem and became anxious around other people, which prevented me from opening up to people around me about my problems. I was in a permanent state of negativity. After years of feeling this way, I began to lose hope. I turned to suicidal thoughts and self-harm.
My battle with depression separated me from Sikhi for a very long time. Throughout the span of my depression, I limited the time I spent leaving my house, and this included going to the Gurudwara. I stopped reciting Jap Ji Sahib, a Sikh prayer that appears at the start of the Guru Granth Sahib Ji. I used to recite Jap Ji Sahib every morning when I was younger. At one point, I lost so much hope that I questioned the idea of Waheguru at all. I thought, if Waheguru is real and cares for all of us, then why would he put me through so much suffering? This skepticism, in combination with the lack of support from adults at my Gurudwara, pushed me to let go of religious belief.
I was 15 years old when I finally convinced my parents to let me see a therapist. My therapy was a combination of sessions with a therapist and the use of antidepressant medications. I eventually reached a point of comfort where I could go outside again. My parents began taking me back to Gurudwara, arguing that it would help me feel even better. I was reluctant. When I told people from my Gurudwara, they often didn’t understand why I needed therapy at all. Some even judged me for the use of medication, and many extended family members told me not to discuss my mental health problems because they were “controversial” and “taboo”.
However, as I sat down and listened to the Kirtan, I found the support that I didn’t find from the adults in my sangat. Kirtan refers to the devotional hymns sung in Gurudwaras. I didn’t realize just how much Sikhi has to say about overcoming emotional trauma until I began to read from the Guru Granth Sahib Ji and listen to Kirtan again. I felt, by listening to the words of the Guru, that somebody actually understood my ਦੁੱਖ (dukh, which means pain o r grief). The Kirtan I listened to described my symptoms perfectly, and explained that they were the result of my loss in faith.
The Gurus recognized that life’s challenges were emotionally overwhelming, and in times of difficulty, people need more than ever to turn to faith. I found that listening to the Guru helped me more than I could have ever imagined. Sikhi has the tremendous capability to help me find genuine coping mechanisms for their mental health problems. The Gurus simply promoted Naam Japna and meditation. By listening to Kirtan again and meditating, I began to see some of my worst depressive symptoms disappear.
Ardaas became a part of my therapy and helped me regain faith. If I felt overwhelmed, I would sit down and read from the Guru Granth Sahib Ji. Most of what I read and recited centered around accepting my emotions and connecting more deeply with Waheguru. Instead of trying to silence negative thoughts, I learned to let them come and go and to accept myself in every condition. The Guru Granth Sahib says, “People make all sorts of efforts to find peace and pleasure, but no one tries to earn pain. Says Nanak, listen, mind: whatever pleases God comes to pass.”
The combination of therapy and religious faith gave me hope. I knew that Sikhi wasn’t a cure, but it was there to help me navigate the most difficult journey of my life. I’m certainly not a perfect Sikh, and I am still working on improving my journey with Waheguru, but I am proud to say that I have already been so empowered by my connection with Sikhi.
Of course, I still struggle with depression. I am no longer experiencing it, but emotional problems do not just disappear. As emotional health gains greater focus in society, teens like me have more avenues to get through their problems. I’ve seen mental health problems being discussed more within the Sikh community over the years, and I’ve met many teens like me who struggle with mental health. The battle is ongoing, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t overcome our toughest challenges.
If you or anyone you know also struggles with mental illnesses, please try to get medical help and talk to an adult. I understand how difficult that can be, especially within our community, but there is always someone there who is willing to help. Your feelings are valid, and you can through this.
Resources:
National Alliance on Mental Illness: https://nami.org/home
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
Contact Amanjot on Instagram: almondjoy.kaur
Read Unfinished, Amanjot’s poetry book on mental health: https://www.amazon.com/Unfinished-Amanjot-Kaur/dp/046427236X
About the Author
Amanjot Kaur
Amanjot Kaur (17) is a high school junior in Wisconsin and author of Unfinished, a poetry book detailing her mental health recovery. She cares strongly about addressing mental health within the Sikh and Indian communities and helping teens overcome emotional struggles. She is excited to be working with SikhTeens.