One time, I was sitting at a restaurant with a bunch of my friends, waiting for food to arrive. They were all on their phones as usual. A few minutes later, one of them turned to the group with an Instagram picture of a model and said “Omg, look at her - she’s perfect!”. Everyone else exclaimed about how pretty her hair, how flawless her skin, and how toned her abs were. This experience would constantly repeat itself, whether we were in class, sitting at the school lunch table, or driving with friends. These instances made me start thinking about what a “perfect body” really was.
Since we all have been quarantined in our houses the past couple of months, I became a frequent user of Tik Tok (go follow me @jazzy.singh_ haha) and I finally convinced myself that it was about time I made an appearance on the gram and got an account. Whether it was scrolling through Tik Tok or catching a glimpse of a photo of an Instagram model posing at a beach, I noticed that many of these models have these “perfect bodies”. These past couple of months, I noticed the topic of body image often being discussed among my peers. In today’s society, many of my friends feel pressured to have the “perfect body” whether that pressure is placed on them by society or themselves. A couple of weeks ago, I saw a Tik Tok where a girl was crying about how she didn’t look like those famous models and wished she was as pretty as them. Seeing that really hurt me because her lack of confidence in herself was very apparent. Social media has definitely influenced my friends and my perception of ourself. Many teens want validation from their peers and social media is a quick way to gain that feedback. I have noticed many teens spend countless hours trying to capture a single selfie at just the right angle. Growing up in a generation where body image affects us so much, it is important for everyone to remember that worrying too much about our body image shouldn’t matter. I often have to remind and console my friends who have become obsessed with the way they look in the mirror. A shabad that reminds me this specific topic is:
ਸਿੰਮਲ ਰੁਖੁ ਸਰਾਇਰਾ ਅਤਿ ਦੀਰਘ ਅਤਿ ਮੁਚੁ॥
Simal (Simal) Rukh (Tree) Saraeera (Straight) Ath (Very) Deerag (Tall) Ath (Very) Muchh (Thick)
ਓਇ ਜਿ ਆਵਹਿ ਆਸ ਕਰਿ ਜਾਹਿ ਨਿਰਾਸੇ ਕਿਤੁ॥
Oue (That) Je (One) Avai (Visit) Aas (Hopeful) Kar (Do with effort) Jahe (Leave) Nirase (Disappointed) Kith
ਫਲ ਫਿਕੇ ਫੁਲ ਬਕਬਕੇ ਕੰਮਿ ਨ ਆਵਹਿ ਪਤ॥
Fal (Fruit) Fikae (Nauseating) Ful (Flower) Bakbkae (Tasteless) Kam(n) (Work) Na (Not) Avai (Comes) Path (Leaves)
ਮਿਠਤੁ ਨੀਵੀ ਨਾਨਕਾ ਗੁਣ ਚੰਗਿਆਈਆ ਤਤੁ॥
Mitath (Sweet) Neeve(n) (Humility/Lowness) Nanaka (Nanak) Gun (Virtues) Changiayan (Good) Thath (Mind)
My interpretations of the shabad is that there are two trees; one with more fruits on it and one with less. Birds are coming to sit at a tree and they have to choose between the two trees. They end up choosing the one with more fruits on it because it was more attractive compared to the other tree. While eating the fruits of their chosen tree, they realize that the fruits weren’t very tasty even though the tree looked more attractive than the other tree. Even though someone or something looks good on the outside, that doesn’t reflect their personality on the inside. At the end of the day, what truly matters is how we embody the good virtues that Waheguru has taught us. The topic of body image also reminds me of maya. In our generation, we are so focused on thinking that having the “perfect body” or wearing lots of make-up is the only way we can look beautiful, but according to Waheguru, our natural beauty and our natural body is the most beautiful thing.
Thinking positively about our bodies and respecting ourselves will help us become confident, content, and the best version of ourselves. Some tips I use to stay confident in myself are: finding things I like about my looks. I tell myself what I like and I accept those things, instead of thinking negatively. People are all on their own paths and will excel at different places, and I often have to be mindful of that. I strive to follow my own expedition to greatness. Last but not least, I remind myself that media-portrayed body images aren’t realistic. The media does an excellent job glorifying unrealistic body types and misrepresenting the average physique. This often sets a very high bar for the youth. It is OK to challenge yourself and the pictures you see. Confidence should be built in oneself and our efforts, not what other people say or think. Overall, I try to keep in mind it’s completely normal to have some insecurity about the way I look. The only way we as a sangat can overcome those insecurities is to be kind to ourselves, create positive habits, and do our best to acknowledge what you can’t change to give ourselves a healthy outlook on our body. As Sikhs, it can be harder to think that we look good, because we can’t cut our hair, go to salons, etc. To tie it specifically to Sikh culture, we are often underrepresented in media, and many of us feel alienated just by being ourselves and following Sikh practices. A big factor that often separates us from the public is our unshorn hair, or kes - which prevents us from the salon trips, dye jobs, and blowouts so many girls our age pine after. The inability to do these things can definitely affect body image, and can contribute to a deteriorating self esteem, but by following the points I outlined earlier we can start to build ourselves back up. To sum this up: “The second you stop looking for someone else in the mirror and start looking at YOU is the second you will start to appreciate what you are. YOU ARE PERFECT.” -Jes Baker