where are we going?
as the days blend into one
in moments of heartache and dire need of escape
i fall upon my bruised knees, wondering “guru maharaj, where have i gone?”
as i have lost myself
wandering far away from my guru
as the uncles and aunties, elders and school counselors, all tell me, “child, mental health is nothing. you are alright. you are not hurting. go drink some chaa, it’ll help the head that’s aching.”
as if this pain will release from my parched soul
by some liquid and not dhan guru gobind singh ji's amrit
and when i see drunken children up on vape
far lost into gangs, abuse and rape
when the upper hand abuses our women and young children with no remorse and no pain
their eyes filled with the color red
like the crackling fires deeply immersed in kalyug
i ask again, “maharaj, where have we gone?”
that’s when my guru says,
from akalpurkh we’ve come, and back to akalpurkh we’ll go
one day, we'll forget the reasons that made our hearts ache once before
one day there will be an understanding upon this world
as they answer the question ‘what is mental health, really?’
there will come a moment
when dhan guru nanak dev ji’s hukam will rise farther
than the geographical places on a map
as we yearn to immerse with the divine
try to grasp the ocean’s magnitude
one drop at a time
an immaculate body of water
doused by guru maharaj’s power
and maybe through all our victories
we can learn to heal the trauma, the ache, and the misery
maybe one day, we will truly understand that mental health resides in our mind
and that is exactly where we can transcend into something great
turn the tables
from manmut to gurmat
and walk closer to waheguru
maybe one day, we won’t be so lost anymore
darshleenkaur
Artist statement:
Oftentimes, the upper hand and society will shut down anyone who speaks against the mental health stigma. When we express our despair, we are met with sarcasm, and it usually comes down to this sentence: it will all be okay, drink some chaa/go on a walk/do something else. I find it hysterical almost from a Sikhi standpoint, because, are we not meant to take care of ourselves, each and every part of our being? Aren’t we supposed to heal from the ache and trauma that we experience due to Kalyug, Maya, and Karam?
It’s one of those instances where Sikhi has, so unfortunately and desperately, blurred with culture. It’s when we forget what our Gurus say and instead get caught up in the daunting yet repeated continuous question, “what will society think?”
Of course, our Gurus want us to aspire to always remain in Chardi Kala, but we do struggle and feel pain; and there is no shame in that.
I wrote this piece because I wanted to remind anyone who is reading this that mental health is part of our growing and learning, especially as Sikhs. It’s a blessing from Guru Maharaj to work on our Manmut and aspire to our ultimate state of being: Gurmat.
*These are just my thoughts, and prose poetry is like someone’s journal speaking. I sincerely apologize if I have made any mistakes. Please feel free and reach out to me at @kaurzeye on Instagram if I have said something wrong; I always want to learn and grow. Bhul Chuk Maaf Karna
Darshleen Kaur
Darshleen Kaur is an 18 year old college freshman in Atlanta, Georgia. She’s been writing poetry for seven years and has published her first book, a collection of poems called ‘love yourself more’. She currently still writes new pieces, related to sikhi and otherwise, on her poetry instagram account, @kaurrzeye, and her blog